Ashley (Written on 24.05.06)

Not the first time shez been around my head, just tat lately, ive been dreaming and thinking bout her alot and itz not just when im asleep or lazing around. yesterday nite was a whole lot more than dreaming. itz like i was actually there next to her. everytime i dream bout her, we're like this cute lil couple and it feels like when we first meet someone new or how you and your special someone trying to find every small dark corner to make out. eventhough itz a dream it feels so so real to me. and when i awake from my sleep, ill have this huge smile on my face, like itz my birthday today n ill be smiling for hours and sometimes the whole day, until it hitz me. that this isnt a dream, itz the real world, and there no way in this life time am i gonna me her. shez a fantasy. she too rich and powerful to even knoe that i exist across the globe. so how do i meet someone whoz life is shadowed by a group of bodyguards and paparazzi every single second of the day.



i do pity them (her and her sis) sometimes, that power and richs can probably ruin a persons life at a certain level. like many other powerful and rich girlz, problems like weight could be an issue, like miss flockhart and miss hatcher. well, but that doesn mean we (regular normal people) dun have the same problem. i know i do, thatz why i work out on a regular basis. Anyway tthis is all a dream rite. so how come i feel good dreaming bout someone i dont even know. having a crush on her when she was a little girl till now feels like this crush i have on her have evolve into something more, but not till the extend of stalking her. how is it you can have a crush onsomeone you dun know for a long time and it doesnt go away? isnt a crush suppose to fade over a period of time?



if you must know, she isnt the only person i have a crush on, wat bout hilary duff? eventhough i have a crush on heri never actually dreamt about her. why? why is tat? dreams are suppose to mean something rite? i mean that is why the bloddy government around the globe actually fund researchers to find out wat they mean, rite? i wouldnt know, something as simple as an aliens, covered up to such a high level that it seems tat theyre just a fairy tale.


so, wat happens if itz telling me tat ill probably meet her someday. well, tatz great isnt it? me meeting the girl of my dreams, god. thatz like the world to me. 12 years of seeing her and not meeting her is such a long time. thatz like 3\4 of my life on a girl. wow. dun get me wrong about her. it aint bout the power or riches she prosess. it wouldnt matter to me if she lose it all. i mean, when i first saw her, she didnt have all of that, who knew theyll build an empire. all i want is to meet her and have a quiet dinner or coffee wit her. it'll change my life. definately. =p